


somnium

by TylahJayne



Series: transcending lifetimes [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 11:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5705659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TylahJayne/pseuds/TylahJayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>somnium - latin for dream</p><p>You dream of another l i f e </p><p>A life filled with a n g e r</p><p>a life void of hope</p>
            </blockquote>





	somnium

You dream. You dream a lot, most of it muddled and mixed, but you dream nonetheless. You dream of anger and a blinding white light. You dream of a gun, and the feeling of blood on your hands, you try not the drown in the blood, but you fail. In your dreams, there’s a pink lady, and sometimes she cries. She yells too, yells at you and the world. You understand why there’s so much blood now, you do what you have to, to make the pink lady smile, she doesn’t smile for you though. You know that.

No one understands his dreams, not even the pretty lady who sits him down in the nice chair and asks him about his home life. His father thinks he's crazy when he talks to him about the pink lady. He knows they doesn’t understand. But its okay because he don’t understand either really, but he realizes it's important. When he were younger, the dreams were nice, there was no blood or screams. Only the pink ladies smiles, and the blue ladies eyes. He doesn't exactly remember when the dreams turned violent. Only that he always remembered them in vivid detail.

His father pulls him out of public school before his fifteenth birthday, and sends him to a private school away from home. The boy doesn’t get to go home often though, he doesn’t want to. Home scares him now. He knows now he can't trust the pink lady, she hurt him, used him. She tossed him away when she didn’t need someone to kill for her. The boy feels dirty. He doesn't like being used. He doesn't know how to love, the pink lady twisted his views. He hopes he can love, he hopes the dreams go back to being nice.

They don't. The blue lady is mean too, she hurts the boy in his dreams, he knows these dreams come before the pink lady hurts him. He knows because the world hasn’t started to end yet. The names of the people in his dreams elude him. After the pink and blue ladies, the yellow man says hurtful things to him, mean and nasty things he doesn’t understand. The boy in his dreams is bitter now, hes mean and bitter and doesn't know how to love. The cold he feels in his dreams sits in his heart now, he can't shake it. He can feel the loneliness in his bones.

He starts to realize what the dreams mean. That boy in his dreams is him, and the realization hurts. All the people in his dreams hurt him, they call him names and then there’s angels. They're so pretty but they whisper mean things too, but they’re angels, so it has to be true right? The boy finishes school, he doesn’t know what to do now. Maybe he'll get a job at a coffee shop, that would be nice. He still has dreams, dreams of chainsaws and death and blood. But also dreams of boys in sunglasses and dream bubbles and happiness.

The boy is older now, he doesn’t just work at a coffee shop, he owns one. The boy is happy, the dreams still come every night, but now he welcomes them. Sometimes in his dreams he catches snippets of names, little things, like how the pink ladies name starts with F, and how the yellow boys name ends with an X. There’s one name he knows though, 'Strider' always sits on the tip of his tongue, he knows it belongs to the blonde boy who helps him in the bubbles.

He isn’t a boy any more, he's all grown up and he loves his job, but some thing’s missing. He doesn't realize what it is till he sees the pink lady- Feferi, that’s her name, and the green lady who killed him with the chainsaw, her name is Kanaya. They come into his coffee shop one day and he panics, he doesn't know what he wants. He serves them at the counter. He thinks Feferi recognizes him, maybe she has dreams like his. Nothing happens, they pay for their hot drinks, then they leave. He doesn't know if he's happy or sad. Maybe he wanted them to recognize him. Maybe they just didn't remember, maybe the world wanted to punish him for his sins in his past life.

The boy doesn't know

**Author's Note:**

> if you spot any mistakes feel free to point them out!


End file.
